I’m still here

I promise –

I haven’t fallen off of a truck in the boonies somewhere.

I’ve just been super-duper busy.  Getting the girls ready for school, working, taking care of the house and all the other things life throws at me, including SuperMan working two weeks of 65-70 hours (!) for a shutdown project.  It’s been a wee bit hectic around here.  It’s sort of like the universe is warming up for what it will be like once school starts – revving her engines, so to speak.

And so the blog has suffered.

Because, by the time I finally slow down in the evenings, I’m a little bit like Goldie Hawn in the movie “Overboard”

“buh buh buh”

Yeah, that about sums it up.

I haven’t even done a menu plan! Which, surprisingly, has bothered the girls. They keep asking me why I don’t have one and how are they supposed to know what is for dinner? Little do they know, I have no idea until about 30 minutes before I start cooking.

 

I don’t like life this way. (although I do like those girlies in that picture. a lot.)

I need my routines. and my structure.

I need to get things back under control.

Right now, I’m just treading water – nine more days until school starts.  Then, the new routines will set in and things should “settle” back down – relatively speaking.  It will be nuts then, too. Just nuts in a different way. But at least it will be somewhat more predictable.

Until then, I’m just hanging on for the ride!

Really? It’s that time again?

I just spent most of the morning on an annual pilgrimage…

…to buy school supplies.

Really?

It’s that time already?

Sigh.

I’m not sure I’m ready.

(and yet, sometimes I can’t wait – but that depends on how restless the natives are)

It seems like summer just started, and with the exception of July 1st week, it seems like I haven’t really had a summer. I’ve been so busy!

But, I have to say, the girls are thrilled. They can’t wait to start their new schools and to make new friends and get things going again.

And our annual shopping trip is something we all look forward to. They are just like me in that buying new school supplies causes the heavens to open and choirs of angels to sing. It’s a beautiful, yet dangerous thing -the three of us in an office supply store – that’s for sure.

We’re suckers for pretty pens, fancy notebooks and any new thing that has been dreamt up to make you more productive.

It’s a little scary.

So, we are now overwhelmed with notebook paper (college- and wide-ruled) notebooks, composition books, binders and dividers, pocket folders, markers, colored pencils, glue, tape, hand sanitizer, kleenex, locker organization supplies, decorations and more.  My dining room table looks like an office supply store threw up on it. (gross, I’m sorry, it just slipped out)

There was a couple behind us in line at WalMart when we checked out. They were going on and on about how ridiculous it was to buy all this stuff for kids to start school. Snorts about buying dry-erase markers and special binders and the like. “When we were in school, all we got were some pencils and notebook paper and that was good enough for us.” Or some such nonsense.

I resisted (with great willpower) responding to their ridiculous conversation. It was obvious they did not have kids and so had no idea what they were talking about. I just kept thinking about how I’d rather spend the money and get my kids off to a good start than not.

And, thankfully, the girls were oblivious to their silliness. They were lovingly unloading their loot for the checkout lady to scan and loading it back into our buggy to take home where they would quickly open every package and arrange and rearrange a million times as they figured out what the “just right” configuration was going to be this year.

And so now we wait. And wonder. And count the days.

Which are 21, just in case you are wondering.

21 days until school starts.

Sigh.

What they don’t tell you about middle age

I’ve finally hit the stage in life where I have to check that box “40-45 years” when I’m filling out a form, and I’m rapidly approaching the stage when I will be checking the next box down on that list. And, although I really and truly feel like I am at the high point in my life – physically, spiritually and emotionally – there are still a few things that get me some days.

These are the things that no one tells you about middle age.  The things, like the little things of parenting (like getting barfed on and how many years you really will go without a good night’s sleep) that you really can’t believe or appreciate until you actually experience it.  Event if someone told you, and no one will, these are the things that sneak up on you and smack you in the back of the head with the realization that you really and truly are middle-aged. Even if you still feel 23 in your head… you’re just not. Not anymore.

Here are a few of the realizations I’ve had lately:

Even though the kids are old enough to sleep through the night, I still don’t. I don’t know if it is the conditioning of the last ten-plus years of waking up sporadically to settle little ones back into bed (although, to be perfectly honest, SuperMan usually did that. And that is part of why he is SuperMan to me.)  I think, more likely, it has to do with the middle-aged hot flashes I have and the fact that I can’t seem to get comfortable at night. One minute I’m freezing.  Five minutes later, just after I’ve drifted back off to sleep, snuggled comfortably under the blankets and cuddled up close to SuperMan, I’ll wake up drenched in sweat and absolutely, positively certain that I have a volcano in my bed.  I throw the covers back, run away from the heater that is known as my husband and cling to any cool spot of sheets that I can find.  And then, of course, I wake up (what seems like) five minutes later, freezing cold again. *sigh*

And it doesn’t get better in the morning. Middle age is right there waiting to smack me in the head every morning when I get ready for the day…

In the shower, I’ve found that it is more and more hazardous to undertake some personal grooming habits.  Now that I am not that good at seeing up close without glasses, things get a little tricky.  Glasses are not particularly helpful in the shower, so shaving becomes rather hazardous.  Do I go with the stubbly look under my arms or risk slicing my arteries as I try to shave the little hairs away?  And have I gotten them all or are there a few stragglers that will be waving along with me at my friends?

Once I’m out of the shower, makeup application becomes a challenge, too.  I think I am approaching that point when makeup becomes less of a camouflage and more of a beacon pointing out the wrinkles and lines.  I stretch my eyelids to apply my concealer, only to find that when I apply the shadow all the little groves become emphasized. *sigh*

Certain body parts don’t work like they used to, either.  My joints seem to have a mind of their own and have become weathermen – announcing the changes in barometric pressure with amazing accuracy.  My wrists let me know when I have spent too much time on my computer, which is too bad since that is my job!  I’m now good friends with all sorts of ace bandages and splints that I never knew I’d have.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I really, truly feel that this is the peak of my life. I’m happy, I’m healthy and I’m loving where I am. It’s just that these little things tend to sneak up on me and remind me that even though I feel young in my mind, my body isn’t as young as I wish it was.

Are you finding any surprises as time marches on?

Images from the road

I’m traveling this week for work – and even though I AM working hard I am having a blast. Lots of memories from years’ past when I used to come out here regularly, and I’m enjoying catching up with work buddies that I usually only get to “see” as a voice on a conference call.

high in the sky
high in the sky

The weather is beautiful, although the trip out here was rough with about 4 hours of weather delays (ugh) – once I arrived, though, California has made it up to me with lots of sunny days and balmy temperatures.

My not-so-sunny landing
My not-so-sunny landing

I forgot how much I love it out here.

Hello, HQ!
Hello, HQ!

Tonight, I’m having dinner with my brother (I can’t wait) and then tomorrow is my last day of meetings. Today I managed to find my way across the San Mateo Bridge, over 3 different freeways and to our Pleasanton offices to see my folks there. I had a great lunch at Johnny Garlic’s (Guy Fieri‘s place) with them and we had a great time. (good food, too – someone had an pancetta/apple/brie/balsamic glazed pizza I was dying to try but too shy to ask for a bite! Now I wish I had!)

Over the bridge
Over the bridge

Friday it is home again – hope that the trip is uneventful and I can’t wait to see SuperMan and the girls.  It’s nice to get out here again – reminds me of how much I love my job and the company I work for.

I’ll try to post again soon.

Have a great week, guys!

9:15 am

It’s 9:15 on a Thursday morning. The first Thursday of the summer vacation for the girls.  Angelina came stumbling downstairs about thirty minutes ago, complaining that Daddy woke her up when he got up and that is why she slept so late. I find this funny because it’s really only about fifteen minutes later than she has been waking up all week, but to her it must seem like a major upset to her schedule.  Mary is still crashed upstairs, falling into the sleep patterns that teens seem to have – stay up late, sleep even later. I’ll go wake her in just a little while – I’m trying not to let her sleep past 9:30 simply because it means she is up so much later at night when she does (and then I’m up that much later!)

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I’ll lure her into wakefulness with some of the chocolate muffins I have baking in the oven. It is one of their favorite breakfast treats and I’ve been making muffins every morning this week – lemon poppy seed, berry, chocolate, etc. They love them right out of the oven, when they are so steamy that you can hardly eat them and the berries and chocolate chips are just gooey goodness in your mouth.

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I’m sitting in my office at my desk, have already read through the emails that came in last night while I was sleeping. Most are just ones where I have been copied on the message and require no action. There are a few that I’ll have to tackle with some action, but right now I’m just not ready for that.  So, I’m sipping my second cup of Earl Grey and half paying attention to the Live! with Kelly Ripa show.  Kristin Stewart is on and I wonder, as I look at her, when she will change her makeup and hair style so that she doesn’t still look like Bella Swan. 

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My office is rather a shambles – I have all sorts of papers scattered about and things are upside down as I make piles of things to take with me on my trip next week – things to take to Mom, things to remember to take to HQ.  The suitcase is 80% packed with my work clothes and I still need to pack the non-work clothes that I’ll need for the layover at Mom’s before and after the HQ trip.  Have yet to begin to pack the girls’ clothes although I am hopeful Mary Beth will take care of hers and Angelina’s should be quick and easy – toss in some shorts, tops and bathing suits and she’s good to go.

I’m getting a little, well, stressed is not really the right word and anxious sounds negative – so I’m not sure how to describe the feeling – about the trip. I am getting that half-here, half-there type of mindset. I remember living this way years ago when I was traveling a lot for work – part of my mind is in the present moment and part of my mind is already on the trip, anticipating things that will occur and trying to be sure I’ve planned/prepared/packed for those potentials. It’s a little stressful and makes me feel disconnected, in a way, from my family, but it is also the way I have learned to make sure that my trip is not any more stressful than it has to be – by trying to be prepared for as much as I can ahead of time. Now, I just have the added challenge of taking care of the family as well – preparing for their needs while I’m gone as well as my own. (as I type this I’m making a mental note to double-check that all the bills are paid and nothing is due while I’m gone.)

The weather is cool outside right now – has not warmed up yet for the day, although it is supposed to be another scorcher. I’ve just reset the thermostat to 75, which is where I try to keep it all day long. I usually have to turn it down at night when Rob gets home as he likes it a little cooler (we all do) when we sleep.  There’s supposed to be rain coming in and cooling things off but today the temps are supposed to be in the 90’s. I wish the pool was open and I could take the girls this afternoon, but they are repairing tiles and Angelina has her ballet recital rehearsal at 4:00 today.

I’ll have to get prepared for that little excursion – making sure that the skirt on her costume is pinned in place and getting her all dolled up and ready to go in time. That should prove interesting since I have conference calls right up until the time we have to leave. Thankfully, she is getting more self-sufficient and Mary Beth is big enough to help her, too.  I can’t wait to see the dance and to snap pictures of the rehearsal.  Recitals are Saturday and Sunday and then we will be finished with all of our obligations for the summer.  Then it will be time to relax and enjoy (in between work, that is)

So, what are you up to this morning?

Just hangin’ on…

It’s a wild ride around here –

I’m just hangin’ on – that’s about all I can do right now. Craziness.

Last week we wrapped up school for the year.img_1579

Last weekend we celebrated the holiday weekend with a trip to an arts & crafts festival on Saturday, some much-needed pool time on Sunday, and Monday was filled with gardening, shopping and more family time. It was so nice to have SuperMan home with us for three full days. 

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This week, Little Bit has dance recital rehearsals and recitals and then the girls and I are headed to Mom’s for “Ammi Camp” – which is where the girls will be while I’m travelling for work.

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I’m printing pictures today for my Project Life pages for last week- hope to have those on the blog later this week.

Other than that, It’s just the usual – work, packing, and sneaking in some pool time when we can.

I am

I am so looking forward to the end of the school year, although I am not looking forward to the fact that my baby girl will be in Middle School next year. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

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But I am looking forward to spending time with my girls this summer. They’re at the age when they want to hang out with me and I’m going to make the most of it while it lasts.

I am finding myself in a rut, cooking-wise. I need to shake things up and find some new recipes. I think it is the combination of the busy schedule we’ve had the past month and the sinus infection I’ve had. When you feel rotten you don’t feel like cooking.

I am thinking about moving my blog to a self-hosted Word Press blog. I’m a little intimidated by the whole techy side of things. Wish I knew someone who could just set it all up for me. (anyone have any suggestions?)

I am trying to be a little forgiving of myself that I haven’t done better about exercising this year, although I don’t want to slip into giving myself the easy out – it’s something I need to do for my health and well-being. I need to focus on making it more of a priority.

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I am wishing I had more time for creative pursuits. Maybe after school is out I’ll find some extra time in my day to do some writing, journaling and scrapbooking. Lately when I have had the time I’ve been so tired I haven’t had the energy.

I am looking forward to seeing my brother in a few weeks. I have to go to my company’s corporate headquarters for some meetings and he will be there at the same time. I can’t wait to see him and spend a little time together. We used to have such adventures together when we were in college.

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I am also really looking forward to the trip to HQ. I have lots of old friends out there from the days when I used to travel back & forth across the country all the time and I rarely get to see them in person anymore. My once-a-year trip to HQ gives me a chance to reconnect in person, which I love.

and now, I am signing off.

Field day = Hell?

I didn’t think I would be back this soon, but as this is my outlet, my place to let the silly thoughts in my head roam free, I guess I need to be here.

Today the girls have field day – I remember hating this day as a child. I mean, truly loathing it.  I would dread it as the day would arrive. It was what I imagined as a child that Hell must be like.

I mean, seriously – Field Day in the South – in MAY – when the temperatures are already hovering near 90 degrees, the humidity is 90% and they want you to stay OUTSIDE and RUN AROUND!?!?

Yeah, hated it.

The only thing I was remotely good at was the tug-of-war. And that was because of my strong legs, thanks to dance classes.  Everything else was just misery to me. I mean, why are we RUNNING AROUND A TRACK? No one is trying to kill us. There are no bears or tigers chasing us? To me, that is the only justifiable reason to run – especially in the South Georgia heat.

My girls, however, love this day.

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Crazy.

I think they must get that competitive, athletic streak from their dad. I am pretty darn sure they didn’t get it from me!  He, however, is not only very athletic but extremely competitive. (one day, remind me to tell you about how “interesting” it gets when the three of them play games together. Uh, yeah.)

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So, they’re looking forward to the tug-of-war, the relay races, the water sports (don’t remember those from MY field days) and the other activities they’ll be doing today.  They even asked me to make them a breakfast that would give them “lots of energy and speed” for the day.

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I’m glad they like it.  It’s certainly better than knowing you’re sending your kids off to be miserable for an entire day.  I’ll be there in just a little while, snapping pictures and cheering them on.

And of course, I’ll share those pictures with you next week!

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So, off to slather on the sunscreen and get my camera batteries charged.

Make it a good day, folks.

Brave Girls

I subscribe to mailings from the Brave Girls Club – have you heard of them?

 

Love, love, love their mailings.  Such a great reminder on a daily basis to keep focused on what is most important and on nourishing my own soul.

Here’s what was in my inbox today:

Dear Becoming Girl,
It might feel kind of scary when you start to realize who you really are, because that person is so much more magnificent than who you have let yourself believe she is, and it’s scary to look that potential in the face and truly believe in the bright light that she is. It’s frightening to think about how life might change if we embrace our real, authentic, fantastic self; relationships might change, our job might change, the way we live each moment often changes when we stop living on auto-pilot, when we stop settling for what showed up somewhere along the way.
Please be reminded, radiant girl, that there is nothing on this earth so beautiful, so comforting, so warm and inviting and loving as a girl who knows who she is. A girl who knows who she is has nothing to prove, nothing to worry about and nothing to take. A girl who knows who she is shows up with so much light, confidence and love for everyone and everything around her that the room. The world is never the same after she is there.
Please embrace the soul-deep goodness that is you. The world needs you to see it. The world needs you to live it. We don’t want to miss out on your color, your light and your glittery sparkle dust anymore.
It will be ok. Come on out of that cocoon and show the world your wings. Ohhhh, they are so beautiful!
You are so very very very loved.
xoxo

A message from your friends at the Brave Girls Club – www.bravegirlsclub.com

Brave Girls Club - A Little Butterfuly Told MeThey also have mailings for young women. I subscribe to these, also, and forward to my girls’ email accounts.  Big Girl loves them although she admits she doesn’t always “get” them – but I know the wisdom is seeping into her consciousness and that one day the nuggets will prove helpful (or I hope so anyway)

It’s uncanny to me how BOTH sets of messages seem to be exactly applicable with whatever is going on in our lives that day – for example, when Big Girl was having some challenges with some “mean girls” at school, the young Brave Girl emails were talking about having confidence in yourself and not valuing yourself based on how others treated you. Amazing.

Here’s a sample of the Young Girls’ email:

Dear Wonderful Girl,
You are a mighty little force of goodness. Did you know that?
Don’t ever forget the power that one person has, one pure hearted girl has, to make GIANT differences in the world. Light will always always always overpower the darkness, no matter what.
Keep shining that sparkly light of yours, beautiful girl.
You are so very very very loved.
xoxo

If you’ve never checked them out – hop over to the website and browse around. If you have a young woman in your life (or even an “old woman” like me) consider subscribing or passing the link on. 

Totally Random Wednesday

Happy Hump Day, y’all.

Sooo happy the week is almost over! It’s “Thursday” for me as I’m taking the day off on Friday and the girls and I are headed to see Mom for a long weekend of fun and sun.

Because I’m trying to get the work week wrapped up and get ready for the weekend at the same time, my thoughts are all over the place today.  I thought I’d share some of this randomness with you.

Here are a few blog posts I’ve read recently that I really liked:

And one of my current favorite new recipes I’ve discovered:

  • Butter Dip Biscuits from the Country Cook – seriously, if you haven’t tried these yet, you need to. So good.

So, that’s all from me for now…

I’ll be back to whirling and twirling (virtually) as I swap between the many hats I’m wearing today. (and hope I don’t get TOO dizzy doing so)

Hope you have a great day!