Before and… during (not AFTER just yet)

Several of you have asked to see some photos of my body-in-progress as I’m journeying along to my new self.

I haven’t been all that diligent about taking pictures of myself on a regular basis. I think I am so used to NOT wanting pictures of me that I have just completely forgotten to.

But last week, while I was at Mom’s, I knew I just HAD to have a picture…

You see, Mom found a dress that I last wore when I attended a friend’s wedding – ten years ago. I was just a few weeks pregnant with Big Girl at the time (although I didn’t know it yet) and I think that was the last time I was even remotely “skinny.”

So, just for fun, I tried on the dress last Saturday night. Imagine my surprise when it actually FIT!! WOW!

Not the most flattering picture in terms of my hair/face (I was hot & tired) but I am so happy about the BODY part that I don’t really care. 🙂

This is the night before surgery:

And five months later:

I still have a ways to go, but it sure feels nice to see some progress.

An interesting eggsperiment

The girls just spent a week at their grandparents – while I was jetting across the country and back in an oversized cattle-car also known as an airplane.

They had a great time being spoiled rotten and never hearing the word “no” uttered.

On Thursday, it was over 100 degrees outside – in the shade. The girls were playing in the driveway with the water hoses, just trying to stay cool while they were outside for a bit.

I tried to take some pictures of them, but the camera kept fogging up – the temperature and humidity differential between indoors and outdoors just was too great, I guess.

While they were outside, Big Girl decided she wanted to test the theory “It’s hot enough to fry an egg out here.”

So, they did.

And tried to bake a potato.

Surprisingly enough, the potato was semi-soft after a couple hours in the sun and the eggs were partially cooked. I think they might’ve cooked even faster if they had been on the concrete, but it’s scary enough to think they were cooking sitting on a white lawn chair for hours. (think about what that would do to your brain!)

Good enough reason to stay indoors if you ask me.

Weekly Wordle on Wednesday

I’m having lots of fun with this – interesting to see the trends in a big picture.

You can try making your own Wordle here.

Is that really you in there?

I’m approaching the five month anniversary of my surgery (well, in two weeks, anyway) and to date, I’ve lost about seventy pounds. It is really hard to grasp that – almost inconceivable to me that I have lost that much weight.

Having this surgery has been such a life changing thing for me. Life changing in so, so many good ways.

I’m five months out and I can’t believe how much energy I have. I can’t believe how good I feel – ALL THE TIME. I call myself the Energizer Bunny… I feel like I can just keep going and going and going…. and it is awesome.

My family says I look ten years younger – I know I feel that way.

It’s funny, though, because I don’t see the physical changes. When I look at my body, I still see someone who is overweight. Granted, I still have a long way to go to get to my goal weight, but I only see my weight loss in the bagginess of my clothes, not in my body when I look in the mirror.

It wasn’t until last week that I realized that I don’t really look at myself in the mirror – or at least I hadn’t been really seeing myself in the mirror for a long time.

I walked by a mirror in my house and I thought “Who is THAT?” (I was home alone)

DUH. You, silly.

I had to stop and just stare.

THAT is ME?!? Wow.

I’ve been in such denial (prior to the surgery) about my body that I might look in the mirror to check my outfit or hair, but I didn’t really see myself. And now, I am having to learn to stop and really focus on looking at myself in the mirror. Really seeing who I am now – so that I can reconcile the person I am becoming with the “me” on the inside who still thinks of herself as the fat girl who was trying so hard to be invisible that she didn’t even see herself anymore.

I was lost in the fat.

And now I’m finding myself again.

Like coming out of a cocoon.

And it’s a little uncomfortable. It’s not a familiar feeling. And it’s like looking at a stranger in the mirror and trying to reconcile that THAT is REALLY ME.

I had no idea, before the surgery, that these would be the things that I would struggle with.

The eating part has been easy. The exercise not too bad.

But I had no clue that these changes – reconciling the me inside with the me outside – would be so challenging. It’s challenging in a good way – challenging me to love myself – challenging me to allow myself to be proud of my progress – challenging me to give myself permission to really and truly become the person I want to be – and not be trapped in some role (and body) that belongs to someone I no longer want to be.

It’s a rollercoaster ride these days, but I’m loving every minute of it. I can’t wait to see what is over the next hill.

On the road again…

I’m traveling for work this week. First time in two years, and the first time I’ve been back to our corporate HQ in ten years. It feels a little weird to be out here as the last time I was here, I had no children and a very, very different life. I’m looking forward to reconnecting with some colleagues later today and walking down memory lane a little bit.

Since I’m traveling, blog posts may be a little spotty this week. I hope to be back to my regular schedule when I get home.

I hope you’ll take a second or two and read this post from back in 2008 – it’s all about my travel habits. I thought it was appropriate given that I’m traveling this week. It was very interesting packing this weekend.

Have a great day!

This is a no-Bieber house

I consider myself very lucky that Justin Bieber has not invaded my house.

Just as the large purple dinosaur never found his way in the front door (thanks to some very careful programming selections and dire threats to anyone who might be tempted to expose the girls to said dinosaur), we have (thankfully) been able to escape (so far) the silliness of the pre-teen pop music stars.

Yep, that’s right. No Jonas frenzy here. And my girls don’t even know how to pronounce Justin Bieber’s name properly.

Oh, their friends have certainly exposed them to these pop stars and their so-called music. And Big Girl thinks it’s quite silly that her friends are “in love” with little Mr. Bieber. (thank goodness) She enjoys listening to the music on NickTV in the mornings when she’s getting dressed, and she knows enough to sing along and not look like a total dork when her friends are talking about these stars… but she really doesn’t care one way or the other.

That’s probably because her daddy and I don’t listen to pop music (or as I keep wanting to type it “poop music” LOL)

We’re “classic rock” fans, mostly, although I have been known to throw a little Country music in there (thanks, Daddy)

Some of the girls’ current favorites?

Kung Foo Fighting (Carl Douglas)
School’s Out for Summer (Alice Cooper)
YMCA (Village People)
I Need You Now (Lady Antebellum)
Party in the USA (Miley Cyrus – yes, she has invaded. sigh.)
The entire Momma Mia soundtrack (which we listen to almost daily)

At least their music tastes are eclectic. I like to think we’re exposing them to the finer side of things. (hee hee)

It will be interesting to see how thing change (or not) as Big Girl gets older since she is the first one to step into the land of Teenagerdom.

Mr. Nobody has moved in

I knew it would happen.

I wasn’t sure when, but I knew it was just a matter of time.

Well, he’s here.

Mr. Nobody.

You know, the mischievous little elf who breaks things, makes messes, and wreaks havoc, only to dash away and hide when it’s time for a reckoning.

He stopped by our house for a visit yesterday, causing quite a stir.

I’m not sure he knows he is not welcome. I’m not sure he cares. I think he had fun messing up bedrooms, tearing up bathrooms, and the like.

We’ve had the proverbial conversations:

“Who did this?”

“I didn’t do it.”

“Okay, well, if you didn’t do it, and I didn’t do it, then who did? It didn’t just happen all by itself.”

“I don’t know.”

“Ah, okay.”

I’m wondering how long his visit will last?

Weekly Wordle on Wednesday

I found this cool program that takes your blog feed and pulls out the most frequently used words and makes a picture. The more frequently the words are used, the larger they are. Interesting…

So, apparently, I use REALLY an awful lot. Hmmmm… I really must try to stop doing that.

Want to try your own? You can cut/paste text in as well.

Go here.

Thanks to Days on the Creek for the pointer to the Wordle program!

I have a new toy

I have been thinking about getting an eReader for a few months now. I couldn’t decide between the Kindle and the Nook and I have been reading reviews and asking people that have both what they think of them. But, I still hadn’t made a decision.

Did I really need a digital book thingy? I mean, really?

And, would I really like it?

My mom and I are both voracious readers. I am usually reading two or three books at the same time. I keep one in the car, one by my rocking chair, and many on the nightstand. That way, no matter where I am, I have a book to read.

My brother had mentioned the iPad to my mom when he was visiting in June. I have seen so many people who’ve gotten one… but I just can’t seem to get past the high price tag and large size. If I’m going to spend that much money, I just want to buy a new laptop – something I can do some digital scrapbooking and other things on – not just read and surf the web.

Anyway.

I am going on a business trip next week – and I have been trying to figure out how I was going to pick a book to read to take on the trip – since I have three I’m currently in the middle of. What if I finish one early on the trip? I don’t want to buy another book on the road when I have two more at home waiting to be finished. But, I don’t want to carry a bunch of books with me, either. That is just too much extra bulk and weight! (my mind never rests – it’s always tossing and turning on these silly conundrums – does your mind do this, too?)

So, my mind wandered back to the Kindle/Nook question again. I went online (again) and read some more reviews. (I love CNet.com’s reviews. They never fail me) After church yesterday, we went out for lunch and just happened (wink, wink) to go to a restaurant in the same shopping center as a Barnes & Noble. I managed to sneak in and get a detailed demo of the Nook from a very knowledgeable salesperson (thank you!)

I discovered that the Nook has some cool little features that the Kindle doesn’t. They are both so similar that there isn’t really one specific feature that puts one over the other, in my opinion. I think it boils down to personal preferences. But here is what I liked about the Nook:

I love the virtual menu – a touch screen rather than physical keys (the Kindle has keys). I like it because it turns itself off after a few seconds (you can specify how long) and then you don’t have to worry about accidentally pressing a menu key and having something happen in the middle of reading.
I love the eInk technology (they both have this). It makes it so easy on your eyes when you are reading – so much more easy than reading on my iPod touch or phone screen. It is black & white, so there is no color display (except the menu screen, which is in color)
I love the fact that I can have 1,500 books on the Nook at one time (I don’t think I’d ever worry about not having something to read again!) And, with the Nook’s ability to add a micro-SD card, I can expand that capacity if I need/want to.
I can also put music on my Nook – so I can use it as an MP3 player if I choose. Which is just a neat feature but not really something that I thought my future eReader had to have.
I love that I can download a book in less than a minute. I am an impatient girl. If I find a book that I want to read, I want it NOW. I don’t want to wait to have to go to the store (maybe days from now) and now I don’t have to! How cool is that?!?
I also love the fact that it stores where I left off reading in every single book I am reading – and will take me to the last point read when I open the book. No more lost bookmarks.
I think it is cool that it has a browser on it as well – Given, you are looking at a black & white screen (because of the eInk) and some pages look very dull in b&w, but at least you can look at the internet if the mood strikes you. The browsing feature is a little strange (you use the color, touch screen at the bottom to scroll/pan around the larger b&w browser page) and is going to take some getting used to, but I like the fact that I can go online and look things up if the notion strikes me – and I don’t have to get my laptop out to do so.
I got the one with the 3G service on it. At first, I wasn’t really sure why I’d need that, but I found out in the first five minutes why, and I’m so glad I did. The 3G service allows the Nook to connect to any AT&T cell tower (automatically, I didn’t have to do anything) and provide access. In fact, I took the Nook out of the box on the drive home, just to see it in person, and when I turned it on, it connected to the 3G network and I was able to register my Nook and connect to B&N as we were driving home. THAT, my friends, was really cool. No waiting for a WiFi connection. Just presto! and I was online as we drove down the highway.

Big Girl is also enamored with my new toy. She has been very resistant to my planned reading schedule this summer and new books or trips to the library have not swayed her in her determination NOT to read. However, the Nook seems to have changed all that. I don’t know if it is the novelty of it, or what, but she quickly asked for a book to be loaded (Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief) and started reading away.

I have noticed, prior to this, that she seems intimidated by books that seem “big” or “long” and I’m wondering if I’ll be able to get her to pick stories that just seem interesting without being intimidated by their heft – since she will be reading them virtually. I loaded the B&N eReader software on her netbook, so if I am using the Nook, she can still read her story. (As a matter of fact, if I have the B&N eReader software loaded on my phone or iPod, I can do the same and read any book I’m in the middle of on my Nook even if the Nook is not with me. I am not sure yet if the bookmarks will synch or not. Have to check that out.) Details

As a matter of fact, she came downstairs this morning, Nook in hand, reading away. Wow. That’s just awesome.

So, I’m all set with my new toy and I’m ready for my business trip (just as soon as I pack). I got a cute cover for the Nook, too – to keep it safe from scratches while it rides around in my bag. I think I’m going to name her – just haven’t decided what yet. “Nook” sounds silly – Big Girl and I both think. And with this cute pink jacket, I think she is just begging for a name. Matilda? Beatrice?

Do any of you have eReaders? Or thoughts about having one - or not having one? I admit, I have been on the fence for a LONG time, but now that I got one, I’m so glad I did.