It’s OK to be proud

One thing that has really struck me – especially lately – is how I react to people’s comments about my weight loss.

MP900400498 On the one hand, I am thrilled that people notice and comment.

On the other, I am a little uncomfortable at their attention and praise.

I started thinking about this last night. Wondering why it is so hard for me to accept praise for the progress I’ve made.

People ask me “aren’t you proud of yourself?” and I don’t know how to respond.

Am I?

I don’t know. I guess. When I stop and really think about it, yes, I guess I am.

But it has all been relatively easy and so it feels weird to think that this is something to be proud of. I mean, losing weight (in the past) has been a painful, long, arduous journey for me.

This? This has been a cakewalk. Once I recovered from the surgery and started eating “real” food, it’s been fairly simple.

I know what I can eat.

I know what I can’t.

As long as I eat what I’m supposed to and stay away what I’m not supposed to eat, I do just fine. I feel great, have tons of energy, and the weight falls off seemingly effortlessly.

I guess there is a part of me that feels like anything that is this simple shouldn’t be something to be proud of.

I mean, to me, the hard part was getting up the nerve to have the surgery. THAT was scary. THAT was difficult. This? This isn’t so bad.

But, as I stood looking at myself in the mirror last night – wearing a favorite shirt that is now half-again too big for me (you could put two of me in there) it dawned on me

I have lost a LOT of weight. Almost 100 lbs.

And that IS a pretty big deal.

Something to be proud of.

Even though I had the tool of the bypass to help me, I have still accomplished this through discipline, patience, dedication and work.

So, I’m not selling myself short anymore.

I AM PROUD.

I want to shout it from the rooftops: LOOK AT ME. LOOK WHAT I DID.

The new me is giving myself permission to love myself enough to be proud of what I’ve accomplished. And permission to look towards the future, set some new goals, and forge ahead.

Yep. It’s OK to be proud.

I’ve come a long way, baby.

Not-so-Wordless Wednesday

So, today is supposed to be a Wordless Wednesday post, but I have some thoughts to share with you that (sort of) go along with the photos I want to share.

We went to the fair yesterday, the girls and I. This was the first time in a few years that I’d been to the fair, but SuperMan was working late and the only good night to go this week was last night. I wasn’t looking forward to it, dreading it actually, but I “sucked it up” and took them. My neighbor (and good friend) went with me so that our kids could ride the rides together and we’d have moral support as well. I was thinking I was going to need it.

You see, in years past, I have hated the fair. Yes, hated it.

I hated the noise. I hated the crowds.

I hated the carnies. I hated the smells.

I hated the walking. I hated the sensory overload.

It was misery in action for me.

I would go, only to please my family, but couldn’t wait to leave and cringing inside the whole time.

Only yesterday was different.

And I think it is because I am different these days.

Yesterday was fun.

Yes, there were crowds of scary people (where do all those weirdos come from anyway?)

Yes, there was a lot of noise and smelly smells and weird, creepy carnival people.

There was all of that.

But, somehow, yesterday, it was fun.

I loved watching my kids on the rides.

I loved watching them get their faces painted.

I loved hanging out with my friends and running into other friends (hi, Leigh Ann!)

I loved the crazy robot who wanted to “double-dog dare” us

I loved watching the rescue dogs do their frisbee tricks.

Imagine that.

I loved the fair.

Oh, and the best part? I wasn’t exhausted when we got home. My feet weren’t aching and I didn’t feel like I’d just climbed Mt. Everest.

Yes, things are definitely different these days.

And I like it this way.

Kissable Lips

I am a lipstick junkie. At any given time, I might have 3-4 lipsticks in my purse. I have pinks, reds, browns, neutrals… I mean, a girl’s gotta match her outfit, right?

I found some really nice lipsticks (and lip glosses) that I love and I thought I’d share.

First up is the only lip gloss I will wear. Normally, I hate lip gloss. It’s sticky and goopy and generally makes me feel messy, not put-together. But this one I love. I found it thanks to someone at church. She recommended it last winter.

Buxom Buxom Lips Full Color