Conspiracy Theories

I am convinced there is a conspiracy. This conspiracy has been going on for a long time and appears to be recruiting participants as time goes by. If you are a mom, you may even be affected by this same conspiracy.

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It may be somewhat of a delicate subject, but I'll dive in…

Here's what I'm talking about: It seems that 85-90% of the time when I enter a restroom there is no toilet paper.  It happens often enough that I'm beginning to wonder if I have become the universe's appointed toilet-paper-changer person. 

At home, we have three bathrooms.  And four people. 

And I promise you, on any given day, whichever bathroom I choose to use will have an empty toilet paper roll sitting there. Now, it's not that we haven't undergone rigorous training around here. 

Everyone has been carefully schooled in the fine art of taking the empty roll off (and placing in the wastebasket) and replacing with a clean, fresh roll.  I even make sure we are well-stocked in the lavatory – keeping 3-4 rolls on hand in the event of a major situation in which we need copious amounts of TP.

However, it never fails. I am greeted with the sad straggler of the abandoned roll; waiting to be decommissioned and reassigned to the recycling. I'm sure you've encountered this before yourself.  Am I right?

I often wonder – do they do this on purpose? 

Or is it just lucky coincidence?

I have even left the empty roll on there just to see what others will do.  Usually… nothing. However, I do recall one time a few years back when my oldest decided to be helpful and "fix" the TP. 

Now we have a reinforced holder covering the hole in the wall that was a result of her struggle to remove the roll from the holder. (poor thing was really upset!) 

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After that incident, I was actually glad she quit wanting to "help" and happily changed out the rolls myself.

It's not that I mind changing out the rolls.  I don't.  I just marvel at how quickly they seem to need changing.  And how it always seems to be when it's my turn in the facilities. Like there is a cosmic timeline and the timer goes off when I step in the bathroom "bing! time to change the roll!"

I have noticed, too, that I seem to be the lucky one to find the empty rolls in other places, too. When I am visiting a friend, for example.  And then I'm always struck with the dilemma.  What do I do? Rummage in their powder room for a replacement roll? Leave the empty roll dangling and use tissues? (if there are any)  I usually opt to refill the roll, hoping that my hostess will be more glad I restocked than she is perturbed by my rummaging.

And let's don't even get started on the whole "over" or "under" debate…

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Mr. Nobody has moved in

I knew it would happen.

I wasn’t sure when, but I knew it was just a matter of time.

Well, he’s here.

Mr. Nobody.

You know, the mischievous little elf who breaks things, makes messes, and wreaks havoc, only to dash away and hide when it’s time for a reckoning.

He stopped by our house for a visit yesterday, causing quite a stir. 

I’m not sure he knows he is not welcome.  I’m not sure he cares.  I think he had fun messing up bedrooms, tearing up bathrooms, and the like.

We’ve had the proverbial conversations:

“Who did this?”

I didn’t do it.”

“Okay, well, if you didn’t do it, and I didn’t do it, then who did? It didn’t just happen all by itself.”

“I don’t know.”

“Ah, okay.”

I’m wondering how long his visit will last?

 

Weekly Wordle on Wednesday

I found this cool program that takes your blog feed and pulls out the most frequently used words and makes a picture. The more frequently the words are used, the larger they are.  Interesting…

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So, apparently, I use REALLY an awful lot. Hmmmm… I really must try to stop doing that.

Want to try your own? You can cut/paste text in as well.

Go here.

Thanks to Days on the Creek for the pointer to the Wordle program!

I’m a great writer…

I’m a fantastic writer… simply awesome…

when I’m sleeping.image

Or, rather, when I am just falling asleep or just waking up.

I write some of my best blog posts then. 

I think it is because my brain is free of other distractions (read: kids, laundry, work, bills, dogs, cats, etc.) and free to be creative.

Unfortunately, I haven’t (yet) figured out how to get these simply fabulous blog posts out of my brain and into the computer without getting out of the bed.  It would be so nice if there was a wireless port I could attach my brain to and just hit “send” in my mind and the posts would magically appear on my laptop the next day. (sigh)

So, I hate to inform you, but you have missed out on some really awesome blog posts this week.

I have written them (many times) in my mind – just as I am drifting off to sleep or just waking up.

The really sad part is that I completely and totally forget what I was going to say by the time I make it downstairs and sit at my computer.

(sigh, again)

I think tonight I may take a notebook upstairs and at least jot some things down.

Hopefully SuperMan won’t mind too much. He’s usually zonked pretty quickly (this heat is killing him) and probably won’t even notice.

So, stay tuned. You just might witness some awesomeness later this week.

If I can stay awake. 😉

The Bachelorette – what were they thinking?

I will preface the rest of this post with the disclaimer that I am 2 episodes behind (thank goodness for TiVo) and my observations are based on the first three episodes.  THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 604" - Ali has a great time trading in her casual California style for sexy, date night outfits with the help of InStyle during her makeover and photo shoot. The looks will be featured in the magazine's July issue (on sale June 18). In the meanwhile, Kasey is tapped for a one-on-one date and vows to "guard and protect Ali's heart" and return with a rose. A sweeping helicopter tour over Manhattan takes the couple to Liberty Island, where they have a romantic sunset picnic. Then the Bachelorette takes Kasey for a night time exploration of the Museum of Natural History by flashlight, as they enjoy having the empty museum all to themselves. But when they settle down for some serious talk, will Ali be satisfied with Kasey's answers, on "The Bachelorette," MONDAY, JUNE 14 (8:00-10:02 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/STEVE FENN)ALI FEDOTOWSKY

But then I will follow that with saying I may not make it past the first three episodes!

Goodness gracious, what in the heck were they thinking when they cast this season of The Bachelorette?

I probably shouldn’t even admit I watch the stupid show.  And, stupid it definitely is this season. I mean, all seasons are pretty scripted, predictable and a little lame. But I’ve been hooked nonetheless (here’s my confession about a former season)  I admit I jumped ship during Matt Grant’s season. It was just to obviously a grab at fame and fortune for him (well, that and all the *ahem* he could get while on the show)

However, they might have finally run me off this time around. And not because of the obvious fame whores (and there are a few) but because of the absolutely LAME group of bachelors they have.  Not only are they dorky looking (for the most part – or maybe I’m just old?) but they are almost caricatures of the “typical” bachelor crew that is cast. 

I mean, you always know there is going to be the “bad guy,” the “lonely heart,” the “crazy,” etc.  But this season it seems like the guys are taking their roles just at little.bit.too.seriously.  I keep watching hoping that it’s going to get better but so far it has not.

Have you watched up to the last episode (yesterday) – what did you think? Is it getting better?

There are two guys I think are decent, although a little comic-book-knight-in-shining-armor-ish (yes, that is a word – in my dictionary!)

Roberto – he’s cute (needs work on his eyebrows) and seems genuine enough.  He and Ali seemed like they hit it off well on their one-on-one dates.  If history is the clue here, he may end up being one of the final two…whomever has those “high risk” dates always seems to end up as one of the final two.  We will see.

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However, Ali’s comment about wondering if he thinks she is cute enough for him? Seriously? She is a teensy-tiny bit insecure, isn’t she? If I was Roberto, I’d be insulted by that comment – that implies that he thinks looks are everything.  Oh. Wait. He’s a man. … Never mind.

and then there is

Chris L. – he’s cute, too, and he is cute when he gets all giddy about spending time with Ali.  Will be interesting to see if she finds him worth spending time with or if she thinks he is too nice.  He might be too tame for her. I don’t see much spark in him.  Nice guys are GREAT to be married to (I am particularly partial to my nice guy, SuperMan) but they don’t usually win the race against a bad-boy (see Jillian’s season for a prime example)

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Other than that, not too many of the guys stand out to me. They are all pretty vanilla-ish. 

Well, except for the Weatherman. And all I can say about him is – he is cast on the wrong show.  I think they meant to cast him on the Bachelor (and not AS the Bachelor, if you get my meaning)

ahem.

Let me wind up this rather long-winded and rambling post by making one more snarky comment –  What is up with Ali’s speech? She is all mumbly and whiny sounding when she talks.  If I were a guy, she wouldn’t be someone I would be running after… heck, I don’t know how they understand what she is saying half the time.

Sigh.

This is going to be a long season (if I make it that long) – unless we get “The most dramatic Rose Ceremony EVER” soon, I may die of boredom.

What do you think?  Are you a Bachelorette watcher? Do you care? Or, did you just humor me and read this far hoping I’d change the subject soon?

 

 

Not Me Monday

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This Monday, I did NOT:image

  • take my kids out to lunch again because I’m too lazy to fix them something at home to eat.
  • wish it would rain so I don’t have to take the kids to the pool again today (and swelter in the heat while they swim)
  • eat some crème brulee and bread pudding on Saturday night (no one saw me so it doesn’t count, right?)
  • keep walking AROUND the piles of laundry that need to be put away – without doing anything about it.

Join in the fun!  What did you NOT do today?

Have You Seen This?

This video is going viral on the net right now.  Normally, I don't bother forwarding, but this one is quite funny and very spot-on with the observations of society these days.

I hope you enjoy!

William Tell Momisms

I just watched this video and I have to say I wonder if this woman was watching my house when she got the idea to write this!?!  This is motherhood in 3 minutes and 25 seconds.  Take a few to watch this… too funny.

And thanks to BJ’s Scraps, where I found the video in the first place.