I think you probably can tell by now that I’m a planner.
I’m one of those people who does everything with a plan.
I’ve lived by to-do lists and long-range plans for years. As long as I can remember. Even if they are not written down, I have them in my head.
As a young woman, I had five- and ten-year plans….plans that included which age I’d be married, have my first child, etc. I had it all figured out.
And, as Life would have it, those plans didn’t quite pan out the way I had imagined.
Of course, they turned out just fine in the long run, they just happened on a different timeline than the one I had imagined.
That’s how the past week has been, too.
I had imagined this week to be slow and easy, with the girls resting and relaxing (after our hectic last week of school, holiday weekend and crazy recital-filled weekend) I was planning to get all sorts of work done on my work projects – maybe even doing a little extra here and there.
Alas, that was not to be. BOTH girls got sick.
Can you say “toss the plan out the window?”
I mean, seriously – just chunk it on outta there. ‘Cause it just ain’t happenin’ this week.
Late, late nights nursing miserable girlies. Busy days refereeing cranky girls and administering medicines. Washing, drying, comforting, cooking, cleaning and doing it all over again.
Work? Well, I fit that in here and there in fits and starts. In between four doctors’ visits and all the nursing/mommy duties. Thankfully, I have a very understanding boss and a flexible schedule. I’ll be catching up today and tomorrow for sure, though.
It was a miserable week. Honestly.
But, in the middle of it all, I kept reminding myself that what I was doing was the most important thing of all. And trying to focus on the fact that while my plans weren’t going to pan out, everything was going to be OK.
And that is a tough lesson to learn, my friend.
Especially for someone like me… who likes to be in control and on task in everything she does.
It’s hard to relinquish that control, go with the flow, and accept that sometimes you can’t plan everything and manage that plan to fruition.
Now, I don’t know why my plan for this week didn’t happen… or what the bigger picture was in all of this – except maybe to remind me of this very thing I’m writing about? – but I do know that the more I fought against the changes, the more they happened. The more I rebelled against going with the flow, the more I felt like I was trying to swim upstream.
It wasn’t until yesterday afternoon, when I was just about at my breaking point – just about in tears because I couldn’t get photos to print for my Project Life project (NOTHING went right!!) – that I realized I just needed to chill out, give up, and let things go for a little while.
So I spent last night intentionally trying to relax and let go. I didn’t check email or Facebook. I didn’t worry about whether or not the pictures printed. I let SuperMan put the girls to bed and I ate an apple and watched some mindless TV for a little while.
And, after a good night’s sleep, I am feeling much better today. Much more able to cope with whatever life throws my way. And to roll with the tide.
I’m sure it won’t last long. I already have post its with lists all over my desk – things to do today, things to get at the grocery store, office supply store, WalMart, things to cook for Sunday night’s dinner with our Small Group, etc.
I will be back in my full-forced planning mode very shortly.
But, hopefully, I’ll be better able to flex when the need arises. This week was a good lesson that when I don’t it is just not worth it.