Jillian Michaels kicked my abs

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One of the “requirements” you are supposed to agree to when you have bariatric surgery is that you will (brace yourself) exercise after surgery.  (shocking, I know)

Before surgery, you are so anxious to get approved and have the surgery, I think you’d agree to just about anything…

“You want my first born child? Yeah. Sure. No worries. When is the surgery?”

Afterwards, in the first few weeks and months you are so excited about the changes your body is undergoing that exercising is a novelty.  Everything feels different, moves differently, exercising is kind of fun… just to see how things work again.

Then, reality sets in.

LIFE sets in.

And then you have to dig deep and find the wherewithal to keep exercising and banish the excuses that are oh-so-easy to creep into your life.

And let’s face it. Most of us who are candidates for bariatric surgery are not generally the exercising type.  If we were, we might not have been in that position to begin with, knowwhatimean?

So, as someone who has historically avoided exercise like it was plague-carrying, this has been somewhat of an adjustment for me.

Add to that the fact that it’s been cold, wet and generally nasty this winter and I will confess that I haven’t been doing much exercising. (and I’ve got good excuses for other days, too, if you want to hear them – I’m full of ‘em)

But I have decided that if I want to maintain this beautiful new body I have and maintain this vim, vigor, and vitality I have found, then I must perform some maintenance on said body.

Boo.

But a necessary reality I must face.

So, I have decided that I’m going to share this with you – for a few reasons.

• One – it holds me accountable. I will be less likely to slack off if I have to report to you.
• Two – it might encourage you to dig deep and find yourself a way to add more healthy movement into your own life.
• and Finally – it should prove ample fodder for the silly side of this blog.

and, that, we know, is the most important reason of all.

Which brings us to the topic alluded to in the title of this post.

The she-devil known as Jillian Michaels.

For those of you who may not know who she is – she is the reigning Princess of Torture on the Biggest Loser TV show in the US.  She is also building a rapidly-growing empire of exercise videos and paraphernalia.

Including this CD, which I purchased this week with the intention of giving it a whirl.

I had seen a mom doing the workout in the lobby of the dance studio the other night (while her daughter was in class in another room – and that is a story in and of itself – how brave is she to do her exercise in the lobby of the dance studio!?!)

It didn’t look too scary or intimidating and I couldn’t help but wonder if my new body could do those moves, too.

So, while I was in Target the other day, I picked it up.  The girls and I watched it first to see if we thought it would be too impossible.  They were bouncing all over the place, itching to do the exercises right along with Jillian.  I very quickly decided I needed to do it the first few times by myself so that I didn’t suffer the ultimate humiliation of crying or not being able to finish (or crying) in front of my children.

So, I got up the next day determined to give it a whirl. How bad could it be?

Let me summarize it this way. I am sure I would’ve been great entertainment if I had been doing the exercises in a room with a one-way mirror and you were on the other side watching me. I’m quite sure  you’d have laughed your abs off. 😉

I have to say, this was an awesome workout, though.  It is based on a set of rotations that are 3 minutes of cardio, 2 minutes of weights and 1 minute of ab work.  And you do that 5-minute set four times, for a total of 20 minutes.  And I don’t think you could do more than 20 minutes of this. I know I couldn’t. I barely made it through the 20!

The plan is clever, though.  She keeps you moving and just when you think you are, literally, going to die, she changes things up and you do something different. It keeps your muscles engaged, constantly, your heart rate up, and your mind whirling.

For example, I discovered today that you might actually pass out from doing jumping jacks. 

And that jumping rope doesn’t actually require a rope (who knew?)

And that there are four different forms of torture known as “crunches” (not just one – how lucky are we?)

And I learned that three pound weights weigh a heck of a lot more than three pounds after you sling them up and down about forty bajillion times while you are squatting down like you have to pee in the woods. 

Oh.my.gosh.  THAT one was painful.

As I said, I’m sure I was very entertaining.

But, you know what? I was invigorated, energized and revved up when I was done.

(I was also sweating like a pig in South Georgia in July)

And now? Several hours later?

Well, my legs are jello, my arms scream in protest when I try to write anything, and I think my abdominal muscles are not speaking to me anymore.

But you know what that means?

It worked.  And I worked.

And I love that.

So, while I will most likely cuss Jillian out yet again tomorrow (if I can get out of bed in the morning, that is) I will do it again.  And again the next day. and the next. 

If it works, I’m all for it.

I’ll keep you posted.

(unless my arms fall off during the night and run away from home – then I’ll have to dictate it to Big Girl and she can fill you in)

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go up the stairs in a sitting position because my quadriceps (thighs) are on strike for the remainder of the day.