William Tell Momisms

I just watched this video and I have to say I wonder if this woman was watching my house when she got the idea to write this!?! This is motherhood in 3 minutes and 25 seconds. Take a few to watch this… too funny.

And thanks to BJ’s Scraps, where I found the video in the first place.

Every Baker has her (bad) day…

I have been craving a pound cake lately. One in particular – my great-grandmother’s lemon pound cake.

Last night, I remarked to my husband that I couldn’t understand why my overwhelming desire to have a slice of pound cake hadn’t caused a cake to materialize on my kitchen counter. He looked at me like I’d lost my mind and gently suggested maybe I should just make one. (duh)

So, that’s what I did this afternoon… at the same time I helped one kid with her homework, waited on the other princess perched on the couch “feeling wotten” and watching cartoons… and answered emails, IM’s and kept up with what was going on in the world of work.

I guess, then, that it should’ve come as no surprise when my cake was a little onery when it came out of the oven. I mean it’s not like it had my undivided attention while it was being created. Heck, I’m not even sure it had much of my attention at all. I have made this recipe so many times I think I could make it in my sleep.

We were dashing out the door to go to Girl Scouts when I thought I’d better at least turn the cake out of it’s pan. It didn’t release right away so I left it upside down on the cake plate and off we went.

Three hours later when we finally returned home…. the cake hadn’t budged. In case you didn’t realize this already, this was a bad sign. Uh, oh. Time to dig out the plastic spatula of doom and prise the cake from the pan. (I really hate doing that because I’m always afraid I’m going to ruin the cake – ruin? hah!)

I prodded.

I poked.

I shimmied.

(the cake)

I shook.

I pounded.

Nothing.

sigh.

I got a chopstick out and ran it around the insides of the pan. Flipped the cake again. I heard that soft “whump” you hear when the cake falls. Okay. Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.

But the pan still felt heavy…

What the heck?

I turned the pan over.

ACK!

Half of my cake was still in the pan! OH. MY. GOODNESS!!!!

I don’t think I can remember the last time this has happened. FOREVER. And that is saying something considering I probably bake 2-3 cakes a month at least.

My darling, sweet, loving husband asks, “Did you remember to spray the pan, honey?” smirk, smirk, chuckle, chuckle. <grrrr>

“YES, I did.” And I’m sure I did. I remember the can of spray oil giving out its last gasps as I greased the pan.

I have no clue what happened. Maybe I let it sit too long. Maybe not long enough. Maybe not enough oil. Who knows?
But I do know one thing for sure. I’m really, really, really glad that this wasn’t a cake I was making to give to someone.

It’s one ugly cake. Seriously ugly.

But, on the bright side? It tastes awesome.

Here’s the recipe if you want to give it a try. Once you do, you will be spoiled for all other pound cakes.

Grandma Achord’s Lemon Pound Cake

3 cups white sugar 1 cup sour cream

2 sticks butter 1/4 tsp baking soda

6 eggs 3 cups all-purpose flour

1 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp lemon extract

1 tsp almond extract

Cream sugar and butter. Add sour cream and extracts. Add eggs, one at a time. Add flour and baking soda slowly. Beat only long enough to get flour mixed in well.

Pour into greased tube or bundt pan and bake at 325 for 1 hour 20 min.

We usually don’t ever get around to it because we gobble up the cake so quickly, but Grandma always made a glaze by mixing a few teaspoons of lemon juice with some powdered sugar (about 2 cups) and drizzled it over the cake.

Cuteness

Someone has figured out that the cabinet makes a cool "clubhouse"

Where’s the handbook, please?

Has anyone seen the handbook?

You know the one….

Parenting your Child: Part 2 (The Pre-Teen Years)

I don’t think I got that with my order…

(or any other handbooks for that matter) But I really, really need this one.

You see, I have this wonderful, beautiful, intelligent child. And about every, oh, day or so, she is invaded by a creature that takes over her consciousness. You know the creature I’m talking about… The one who thinks parents are so lame and don’t know anything. The one who thinks little sisters (or brothers) are stupid and a pain. The one who has the most irrational reactions (good and bad) about the most mundane of things.

When she gets like this I need to find the switch, lever, or button, that will change her back. Because I’m not quite sure what to do with this other model. I’m hoping the handbook will show me where the button is, or how to take the batteries out so I can do a reset. (works on my ipod, why not here?)

So, if you happen to have an unused or extra manual lying around, could you loan it to me? I’m thinking I’ll only need it for the next, oh, eight to ten years… sigh.

Conspiracy Theories

I am convinced there is a conspiracy.

This conspiracy has been going on for a long time and appears to be recruiting participants as time goes by.

If you are a mom, you may even be affected by this same conspiracy.

It may be somewhat of a delicate subject, but I’ll dive in…

Here’s what I’m talking about:

It seems that 85-90% of the time when I enter a restroom there is no toilet paper. It happens often enough that I’m beginning to wonder if I have become the universe’s appointed toilet-paper-changer person. At home, we have three bathrooms. And four people. And I promise you, on any given day, whichever bathroom I choose to use will have an empty toilet paper roll sitting there.

Now, it’s not that we haven’t undergone rigorous training around here. Everyone has been carefully schooled in the fine art of taking the empty roll off (and placing in the wastebasket) and replacing with a clean, fresh roll. I even make sure we are well-stocked in the lavatory – keeping 3-4 rolls on hand in the event of a major situation in which we need copious amounts of TP.

However, it never fails. I am greeted with the sad straggler of the abandoned roll; waiting to be decommissioned and reassigned to the recycling.

I’m sure you’ve encountered this before yourself. Am I right?

I often wonder – do they do this on purpose? Or is it just lucky coincidence?

I have even left the empty roll on there just to see what others will do. Usually… nothing.

However, I do recall one time a few years back when my oldest decided to be helpful and “fix” the TP. Now we have a reinforced holder covering the hole in the wall that was a result of her struggle to remove the roll from the holder. (poor thing was really upset!) After that incident, I was actually glad she quit wanting to “help” and happily changed out the rolls myself.

It’s not that I mind changing out the rolls. I don’t. I just marvel at how quickly they seem to need changing. And how it always seems to be when it’s my turn in the facilities. Like there is a cosmic timeline and the timer goes off when I step in the bathroom “bing! time to change the roll!”

I have noticed, too, that I seem to be the lucky one to find the empty rolls in other places, too.

When I am visiting a friend, for example. And then I’m always struck with the dilemma. What do I do? Rummage in their powder room for a replacement roll? Leave the empty roll dangling and use tissues? (if there are any) I usually opt to refill the roll, hoping that my hostess will be more glad I restocked than she is perturbed by my rummaging.

And let’s don’t even get started on the whole “over” or “under” debate…