There are a few things I haven’t told you

I mentioned a few months ago I was having surgery – but I never shared the details of what, when, why.  That was, at first, because I was not sure I was going to share the details with many, if any, people. 

But, as time goes by, I have come to the realization that keeping it a secret doesn’t really serve any purpose and telling people doesn’t really matter.

So, here goes nothin’

Back in February, I had gastric bypass surgery.  I had come to the decision last fall that I wanted to do something to get a handle on my health and was fortunate enough to be approved for the surgery quickly and things just went from there.

I’ll post my story a little at a time over the next couple weeks – just in case you are interested. Don’t worry, there will still be scrapbooking and mommy posts – I’m not changing the focus of my blog.  I just feel like I am only being partly truthful with you guys when I post these days because there are such major changes happening right now in my life – changes in my body but also in my heart and soul.  I wanted to share the whole story with you so that I can continue to share authentically – and include the stories of the changes I’m experiencing and the new “me” I’m finding as I get healthy and fit.

So, that’s my big secret. 

I’ll tell you why I have hesitated sharing for so long –originally it was because I was embarrassed and a little ashamed.  I mean, this is something I never thought I would do… but then again, I never thought I’d get as big or as unhealthy as I did, either.  And, I admit, I struggled with feeling like I was “cheating” a little by having the surgery.

I don’t feel that way anymore. 

This is not cheating. It’s still a daily struggle.  It’s still hard to lose the weight.  It’s just a little easier now because I have another tool in my arsenal as I fight the battle against obesity and ill health.  But I still have to be diligent about every thing I put in my mouth – even more so now post-surgery, than I ever was before. 

I am learning the difference between fueling my body and feeding my body.  Two very different things.  I’m learning that it’s more important to fill my body with wholesome, whole, unprocessed foods, than it is to indulge in those treats I used to think I deserved. Now I know I deserve better.  I deserve good health, energy, happiness and a long life. 

I am rejoicing in the newfound energy I have.  I am loving the fact that at the end of the day, I am tired, but it is a good tired, the kind that comes from knowing you have earned the right to be tired.  Not the kind that comes at the beginning of the day as you rise out of the bed, sick and tired and wondering how you are going to make it through another day. 

So, I’ll probably share tidbits from time to time – letting you know about my journey.  I hope you don’t mind. You see, this blog is as much my journal as it is a place to share with you.  It helps me organize my thoughts and feelings and sort things out. Sometimes they aren’t “real” until I see them on the blog.

So, stay tuned… more of my story is to come.